How many times in my life, I’ve heard someone say “something went wrong, however I did my best”? I guess you’ve heard it too among some of your friends and family, haven’t you? Lots of feelings of guilt, some tears and many white nights later, the person who told you that is about to lay on the couch of a psychiatrist: nobody can escape from this weird feeling of being stupid and useless. As if you had to be successful whatever you do…
What’s going on when your best isn’t enough?
First of all, you must be at peace with the idea you’re not alone in that way. Thousands people live the same, at least once a time in their life. No matter religion, ethnicity or age: someone, somewhere is in the same case than you, just because they have done something! Yes, you’ve read well: doing is the lead wire of all this mess you’re living! Secondly, could you imagine just a second the situation if ever you didn’t do nothing? You’d be in a weird mood, asking you why you didn’t dare. It’d be worse! Now you just think you did your best, but it didn’t work…
The main reason is always buried in your heart. You perfectly know what has been wrong: timing, people, job, friends or family… so you as well! It’s hard to recognize you failed in your intention, because you have put so much energy and love that it was obvious to succeed. But it hasn’t been the case. Why? What’s wrong with you? You ask yourself so many questions that find no answers that you feel yourself into a psychological destruction. You end to believe you’re not as able as you thought, that your dreams were too big and unrealistic for a simple person like you. Even you have worked hard to reach your purpose…
But this scenario happens more often than you think. It’s just that lots people prefer not to communicate about, so you can see them as more relevant than you, more able to succeed, more intelligent, smart and ready to move on. But you see only their success, not their failures nor doubts, which have built their pugnacity and their new “religion”: failing has led them to success because they have learnt from their experiences. They have been able to make a balance between their purposes (or dreams) and what have been done to succeed. Do you really think that people succeed at the first test? Look around you: some say they have failed a lot before they succeeded. Nothing’s wrong with that in their mind; they are convinced now they had to understand things before they’ve found how to sort them out!
Now, it’s time to be reconnected with your inner faith in yourself. Ok, you did your best, and it wasn’t enough! But what about if you haven’t done it? Keep confidence in your ability to learn, to move on, to try again. How many times does a baby fall before standing on their little legs and walk? Lots. So one day, they know how doing it! Nothing could prevent a baby from trying to walk, up to the time they succeed! You could think about it when you feel overwhelmed by something you call adversity or bad chance! Chance is a nonsense word, an empty one, that breaks and makes you consider yourself as a victim in life. Are you a victim of circumstances? I’m sure you’re not. You want to decide by yourself what to be, do, or go to. You’re the Captain of your dreams boat, the arrow that drills your grey sky to make it blue again.
So, my dear HappinesShakers, you’ll remember that famous thought: “the way how to go to somewhere is more interesting than the place where you’re supposed to go to”. Finally, who does still think their best is not enough?
Love,
Jane