As a woman, all I can hear or read about feminism on the magazines drives me crazy: should women of the 21st century remain performers all the time long, for everything? Who says: “stop doing many things at the same time” or “take some rest on the sunday’s afternoon” or “stop being a Supergirl”? No one. Well, maybe the director of the US Huff Post, because she’s a woman (God bless her) so she perfectly knows the problem and wrote about it: women do too much! The society asks them so much that it’s quite impossible not to notice they fed up with that. So they suffocate. We, women, are living an era where it’s time to change what’s wrong. I summerize up:
- Being perfect: get the best in haircut, wardrobe, car, kids, home, income, friendships, parents… so I must go on?
- Being the sexiest lady around… that means all over the world, otherwise your husband is looking for someone else. But he does someday however (I’m sorry), so you wonder what’s wrong with you: you’re so perfect!
- Being the best friend no one has ever got: you share everything with your friends, I mean almost what’s wrong in their life; just because you’re the only person who cares on them. Good girl!
- Being the best mother ever: your kids are so nice that they forget to celebrate the Mothers’ Day… so you cries in silence… what else could you do?
- Being the most professional woman of your company: it sounds a bit stupid, but you’ve been educated to offer the best version of your brain to any boss, even they are a predator or a paternalist with no heart.
- Being the kindest woman of your neighborhood: you’ve got so much time to drive the children of others at school or at their sport practice, that you’ve been elected to do it year after year.
- Being the best daughter any parents could have got ever: you spend your free time to listen to their complaints. As your genitors, they’ve got many rights on you, so the one to ruin your life.
I’d just like to add that the list is not complete. It’s asked so much to women, that in comparison, men seem to be on holidays all the time long. Why is it so hard for women to be free from all these habits? Are they aware that they can change everything to live better? Do they know they could get more time for themselves if they’d just start to say “no” to others?
Ladies, just make the experience a couple of weeks, to see how things turn. You could be very amazed to notice it’s more comfortable for you when you don’t run or control everything…
– So first, you need a strategy: stop to say “ok, you can rely on me”, and prefer “I’ll give you my answer later” (within 24 hours at least, is fine).
– Secondly, feel if you’re happy to do what is asked to you, or not. If not, say you can’t, with no explanation: don’t give to others the right to argue, or you’re toasted!
– Third, you must delimitate your private space: who can call you at any time, who can ask you the impossible, who can hook you as if it was a right on you. Make a cleaning once for all.
– Fourth, plan your new you: what you’re going to do (or not) with all that spared time. Don’t forget you deserve to get more time to be what you want, right now.
– Fifth, don’t feel ashamed and don’t feel guilty: you’re not killing anyone, you just end with an old way of being which doesn’t fit you anymore. You’re a free human being, remember? Don’t believe the people who tell you the contrary.
Make a balance-sheet two weeks later, just to see how it works. If ever some things need to be readjusted, you’ve got the power to do it. Don’t forget you’re on your own to make that change: no one will come up to help you. You’ve got your inside power, angels all around you to help you (don’t be shy, ask them some help, they do like that!), and your deep desire to decide by yourself.
The hardest thing is to believe you’ll succeed because nobody will take the risk to support you: people around have too much to lose if you’re not their slave anymore. Remember that you’re not going to be a selfish person, but just a woman who decides to break free from an updated way of living in which others want to keep her on.
So gentlemen, if ever you’ve read this post, don’t be angry, please! You just could think about that lady you perfectly know is opening her wings: she will be more easy going, more beautiful and happy than ever, because she’ll on her way to be herself at last, I mean not a Supergirl, but a woman. So that’s the deal: living as she wants, not less. I’m sure you know what I mean!
Love,
Jane