Everyone knows that kind of person who spends their time complaining about anything and everything. You can find them at work, among your friends, family, neighbors, at the grocery, so in any place you can go for any reason. That complainant may be also someone very close to you. They’re never happy, or just a few minutes a year, if ever you’ve got the chance to see that. They seem not to have found another reason to live but complaining about everything, in any situation, or about anybody. Life brings them only the worst, whatever happens. They need your compassion, your time and your ears that make them feel alive.
So what do to in front of a chronic complainant? Do we have to run away, or to fix their problems, or to drive them to a psy, or to give them all our attention? What’s the best?
But, the main question might be: have we got to keep them around us, actually?
The experience isn’t a happy one: a colleague, a relative, anyone around you, is going to turn you crazy with their issues. In fact, they really think they’ve got issues. On your side, you just think these little nothings could be fixed easily, but the complainant insists, so goes on and on: nothing is turning good in their life, ever, as they say. The fault is due to the society, their boss, parents, childhood, etc. They never feel responsible themselves for nothing, so they consider themselves as a victim.
After a while (that could have been many years), you’re exhausted: you did everything for them, but this person didn’t change their way of doing. You did your best, but your best seems not to be enough. Actually, it will never be enough.
Two decisions are offered to you: either you quit this toxic relation, or you try to devote a time per a day, a week, a month spent listening to the complaints (always the same old chestnuts, so new ones are just added to show you how hard is their daylife). In the last case, you’re a Saint! But you’ve got to take care of you…
The biggest difficulty would be not to turn as the favourite psy of a chronic complainant. They know how to deal with people to obtain their patience, their compassion and their help as well. Complaining is a lucrative business when you know they want all that life seems not to give them: the right to be the person they secretly dream of, a person of interest. By listening them, you give them that.
Then what’s wrong with their life, actually?
Some of these chronic complainants have either got any children, or a job, or a lover, or fun even, I mean many ways to reveal to themselves, to go ahead or to run their own life as best as possible. So why do they believe the contrary? What makes them out of any good way of thinking? Are they crazy, or is it just have they got a juvenile behavior?
A bit of everything, actually. But the most reason they act as they do, is because of their ego very high and strong drives them to become a manipulator. They exactly know how to deal with your sentiments, your good nature, I mean all the best of you. But the worst too: your doubts. They try to make you feel guilty to be who you are, so not to get for themselves a part of what life brought to you. They absolutely don’t care you did your best to live your own life (which is made with ups and downs). They just see you as a lucky person, someone who’s got more than them, someone who succeeds in everything. It’s easy for them to hate you. Although, they wouldn’t dare to tell you that, they dream to do it someday.
A chronic complainant has got a psychological disorder which is denied by themselves, and very often by the people who listen to their complaints. The game a chronic complainant drags their listeners is made of a toxic power distilled carefully and motivated by a big need of an absolute power. They’re obsessed by their own power on others, so by the way they hold over them.
Whatever you may think their life is better than a complainant would ever confess. You’re intoxicated by their poison that will drive you to become yourself a complainant one day or another. They’re jealous, unsatisfied, soured, so into a narcissist perversion which can lead you to adopt a negative behavior as time goes on. You can do nothing to help them. They almost need a psy.
You can notice so, that their health is often bad, not really bad, but chronic complainants have got regular some little troubles, excepted those they think very big when they’re just not. It’s because they’re not happy in life. Instead of being grateful and happy with evrything they’ve got yet, they feel deprived of all the beautiful gifts the Universe. Their negative mind has driven them into an endless conflict between themselves, others and life. That affects their body.
Then you could wonder how not to get a chronic complainant across on your path. The best way means to be aware of your own light. So take care of it. This is a precious gift given to each human being. If you have taken your own chance, so dealt with it, even your life has been far from being perfect, you know you must not let anyone to deprive you from your light. So repeat to yourself that you’re at the right place the Universe wants you to be: you deserve to live your own life, not others’ one.
Love,
Jane